I'm Scared Because
by RBCrazyFan
Summary: McSwarek oneshot. Sam wants to know what's holding Andy back after she breaks up with Luke.


Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue.

A.N. I was bored at work and I was scrolling through my ipod looking for a new background. When I read this poem, my thoughts were immediately "McSwarek" so I decided to go for it.

A.N.2: I think this is #50 for me for Rookie Blue so this one is dedicated to all of you amazing writers and reviewers who have inspired me to continue writing.

* * *

The days after their night undercover slowly turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Things between them remained awkward for a few days. Then, for no apparent reason, Andy called things off with Luke.

Since breaking up, Andy had not dated. At least, not to Sam's knowledge. He didn't know what she was waiting for. She was young; she was beautiful. A number of men would have loved for her to date them. Yet, something held her. He wondered what scared her, why she didn't date.

Today, the day had started off amazingly. She had been a cop for a full year. Yes, today was the anniversary of the day she had busted Sam, but she would rather forget that part and just think that a year ago today she had started her job.

Her good mood lasted through lunch time. Sam seemed to know why she was in a good mood because he didn't ask any questions like he normally did when she was like this (very chatty).

After lunch, they were called to a B&E. The day went downhill from there, ending up with a bullet just missing a little girl's head by a few centimeters.

* * *

As Sam pulled up to the station, he glanced at Andy. She was still lost in her own world, obviously shaken by the events. Sam gently touched her shoulder. "McNally, go change and then I'll take you home." He didn't trust her not to do something stupid. He needed to see that she got home safely before he let his own feelings of fear surface. He would keep the calm façade until he reached his home.

As if on autopilot, Andy walked into the women's locker room and changed. They got back late so no one else was in sight.

Andy walked out of the locker room and began to exit the building when a hand grabbed her. "I told you I would take you home."

Andy looked startled. "You did?"

Sam led her to the back entrance and held the door for her to get into his truck. "Yes, when we got back I told you I would take you home."

Andy stayed silent for the rest of the ride.

When Sam pulled up to her apartment building he looked at her. "Wanna talk?"

To his surprise, Andy nodded. "Come upstairs" she said quietly.

Sam found a parking spot and then the two headed up to her apartment. They talked for a little while and then Andy asked "do you want a beer?" She needed a drink after the long day and he probably did as well.

Sam nodded. Andy stood up and went into the kitchen. Sam wandered around her apartment. He had never been inside before; even though he had dropped her off countless times.

He was about to sit back down when he noticed a piece of paper lying on the floor. He picked it up to place it on the table. As he set it down, he couldn't help but notice the first three words:

_I'm scared because…_

His curiosity was roused. Andy was still in the kitchen so he quickly scanned the paper.

_I'm scared because…_

_I don't want anyone else to have your heart._

_I don't want anyone else to kiss your lips._

_I don't want anyone else to be in your arms._

_I don't want anyone else to be the one you love._

He was surprised. It looked like Andy's handwriting but who was she talking about?

He didn't notice Andy walk back in until she came over to him and cursed. "You weren't supposed to see that."

He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer but he felt he had to ask. "Who?"

Andy looked at him. A shy smile crept onto her face and suddenly he knew. "McNally" he whispered.

Their thoughts flew back to the parking lot after their first day working together. This time, when Sam stepped closer, Andy didn't push him away, rather, she pulled him towards her…

* * *

Weeks after they made love for the first time, Sam and Andy were cleaning out her apartment. She rarely stayed and there was no point of her paying rent when Sam owned his house.

As Sam cleared off the dresser, he noticed a sheet of paper. He picked it up, smiling as he reread the text that he had read – the text that made him realize that Andy loved him.

_I'm scared because…_

_I don't want anyone else to have your heart._

_I don't want anyone else to kiss your lips._

_I don't want anyone else to be in your arms._

_I don't want anyone else to be the one you love._

He was about to pocket the paper when he noticed a line scrawled at the bottom.

_I'm scared because I don't want anyone to take my place._

Smiling, Sam pocketed the paper and made his way to Andy. He wrapped his arms around her. "No one will take your place, ever." He kissed her sweetly, thinking of how she had his heart and was in his arms, they were finally together, where they both belonged.

* * *

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